Why Not Be Crazy
by FifthDayOfMay
Summary: Elise and Sarah are two Turks in the crazy world of Crisis Core, along with their friends Reneey, Lyn, Juhux, Zack and some other strange people, they stumble their way through many a crazy adventure.


Okay so a while ago I promised my friend Elise that I'd write a story for her, and I never got around to it. XD Well, so I love her and she's my buddy so I decided, what the heck, I'll write one. So here it is in all of it's badly written splendor, I hope you enjoy it buddy o mine!!

Zack was a Soldier, he was strong, fast, brave, loyal, and most importantly he was toilet trained. You may not think that's all that important but trust me it is. I mean seriously, who would hire a Solider who didn't even know how to properly use the facilities? That wasn't the point though; the point was that Zack was a SOLDIER, and not just any Soldier but a Soldier second class. So how was it with all his might and skill that he had just gotten his ass handed to him by a five foot two teenage girl?

Said girl just smirked getting into a defensive position and gestured for him to come bring it on. Her leather gloves stretched taught across her knuckles, stained dark with sweat and minimal traces of blood. Her posture however was loose and her stance was sloppy. She was taunting him. With a low growl Zack vaulted off the floor and charged at the younger fighter, aiming his wooden practice sword at her unprotected side.

The girl quickly moved to block the attack with her forearm and then pulled a night stick off of her hip and hit him over the side of the head with it. Stunned Zack's grip on his weapon loosened and his defense lowered for a split second, in which time the girl managed to shove him down to the floor and press a knife against his throat.

With a triumphant gleam in her eyes she grinned down at him, sweat making her black hair cling to her cheeks and forehead. "Give up yet?"

After a moment Zack grinned back. "Yeah why not." Then she was off of him, offering him a hand to help him to his feet. He took it and with their combined strength hefted him back onto his feet. "Just so you know," he remarked swinging an arm over her shoulders, "if this was a real fight I would've kicked your butt."

She snorted amusedly, strong arms crossing over her chest. "I doubt it, if that was true what was stopping you from kicking my butt this time?"

Zack smirked, purple eyes narrowing as he leaned in close to the short fighter. "Maybe I was just distracted by your beauty." He murmured into a caramel colored ear. His smirk only widened when that ear began to color a bright red, and he mentally congratulated himself for making the ice queen blush. His celebrations were quickly ended when the ice queen herself elbowed him hard in the solar plexus.

Grunting in pain, Zack released her and dropped to his knees, arms wrapping around his stomach. "Ow."

"Serves you right." She muttered embarrassedly, making her way over to a long haired blonde who was exuberantly bouncing up and down off to the side of the training room, waving around a big flag with a giant 'E' on it. "Damn flirt."

"That was awesome Elise!!" The blonde girl squealed, her frail looking arms wrapping around the other girls neck. "You totally kicked Zack's ass!" She then proceeded to drag her black haired friend around in a circle, emphasizing each word she spoke with a bounce. "I'm, so, proud, of, yoooouuu!!"

"Okay Sarah I get it!" Elise cried out sounding amused even as she disentangled herself from her hyperactive partner. "You're proud, you're happy for me, and you definitely didn't take your meds this morning!"

Sarah stopped in her bouncing shuffling back a few steps with a sheepish look on her face. "How can you tell?" She asked her blue eyes refusing to meet with her friends much darker ones.

Elise smirked, once again wondering if Sarah was cut out for this business. The fragile looking girl was honest to a fault and wore her heart on her sleeve and in her eyes. _'Then again Zack's like that too,'_ she thought her eyes quickly darting to the spiky haired Soldier second groaning dramatically on the floor, _'and he seemed to do okay, most of the time.'_

"Just call it a hunch." She finally answered watching as Sarah dragged her overly large flag across the floor behind her back. "Promise me you'll take them tomorrow though and I'll be nice and let it slide okay?"

Sarah looked up at her and smiled widely. "I do so solemnly swear o task master!" She joked bringing herself to attention with a half assed mock salute. "I'll be a good girl from now on, take my drugs, brush my teeth, wear a condom and I won't even shoot Sergeant Saggy Ass in the balls with rubber bullets for a whole week!"

"You shot Greever without me?"

"Um, you were in a meeting?"

"I hate to intrude but I'm sorta dying over here." Zack tuned in his voice completely monotone. He was lying on the training room floor flat on his back in a spread eagle position, staring dully up at the ceiling. "Just in case either of you care."

Sarah blinked at him. "You're seriously dying? Wow Zack I didn't know you were that weak if all it took to kill you were a few punches from a girl."

Elise snickered.

The black haired Soldier glared at Sarah weakly. "Have you ever been punched by Elise?"

"Yes."

Zack's jaw dropped and he immediately shot up into a sitting position. "Are you serious?!" Sarah nodded. "How are you still alive?!"

Sarah stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Do you really want to know?" Zack nodded "I've got abs of steal," she said in a deadly serious voice, patting her stomach with her fist, "that's how."

Elise snorted, and doubled over laughing. Zack however just frowned, not sure whether to believe the hyper blonde Turk or not. Luckily though he was saved from having to say anything when the training room doors banged open and a cocky looking red head in a blue suit strutted lazily in.

"Yo." He said in his customary greeting as he approached the still laughing Elise and the lightly blushing Sarah. "What're you gals up to?"

"Hey!" Zack protested hotly. "Who are you calling a woman?!"

Reno smirked at him, eyeing him up and down. "Well I was just talkin' to the girls yo, but," His smirk turned taunting, "now that I get a good look at ya, maybe I should count you in there too."

Zack growled jumping to his feet, fully ready to beat the crap out of the cocky Turk, only to beaten to it by Elise. The pissed off girl punched the goggle wearing man in the back of the head sending him hurtling to the ground. With a groan he turned over onto his back and started to get up, only to be forced back down by a heavy foot pressing down against his chest. "The fuck yo." He muttered glaring up at his assailant only to be met with Elise's dark glaring eyes.

"Sorry sir." She spat removing her foot from his chest. "I thought I saw a bug on your head." With that she stalked out of the room, closely followed by a concerned looking Zack.

Reno glared after her propping himself up on one elbow and rubbing the back of his head. "Damn," he muttered angrily, "what's her problem?" He hissed as his fingers came into contact with a large bump. "Shit, Imma feel that tomorrow."

"Um, are you alright sir?" A slightly hesitant voice asked; he looked up and saw Sarah holding a hand out to him, concern etched onto her normally jubilant features.

He smirked taking the offered hand and allowing the blonde to help him to his feet. "I'm fine yo," he assured in his usual cocky manner putting one hand on his hip and using the other to flick a strand of hair out of his subordinates face, "honest."

Sarah sighed quietly, relief washing the concern from her face. Then just as quickly the relief turned into amusement and Sarah was grinning at him devilishly. "Elise sure is on a roll today don't you think sir?" She quipped. "I mean first she beats Zack and then pins our illustrious Reno under her heel."

Her grin turned into a smirk. "Or maybe you're just getting sloppy eh sir?"

Reno twitched, did she just insult him? The second in command of the Turks, insulted by this little teenager? Oh it was on yo.

Reno straightened to his full height, his green eyes turning dangerous and his normally cocky smirk becoming sinister. He was in full Turk mode and she knew it, but she refused to be cowed; so she kept her expression teasing, even as her muscles tensed in case she needed to fight. "You think I'm getting sloppy huh?" The second in command asked neutrally as he slowly advanced on the nervous blonde. "That's a little strange don't ya think yo?"

"Why would I think that's strange?" Sarah asked instinctively taking a step backwards as the red headed Turk started to get a little too close for comfort. "It's only natural for your senses to dull what with senility creeping just around the corner." Shit why'd she say that?

Reno's eyes narrowed further and Sarah knew she had just dug her own grave. "It is strange," Reno insisted, "that you think I'm so 'sloppy' and 'senile'." Sarah winced slightly at the emphasis he put on sloppy and senile and she decided that now might be a good time to retreat. She turned to run for the door but before she could get so much as a foot away a strong slender hand wrapped itself around her arm and threw her against the wall. Her eyes immediately shut upon impact and she groaned as a spark of pain shot down her back.

There was chuckling, and then a slim, well muscled body was pressing against hers, making escape impossible. Those strong hands grabbed her wrists, pinning her arms to either side of her head and when Reno next spoke she could feel his breath ghosting across her cheek. "Ya wanna know why it's so strange?" he whispered, and when Sarah failed to respond he chuckled. "It's strange yo, real strange, cause all this time, you've been shakin like a leaf."

Sarah's eyes snapped open and she half glared half pouted at the ponytailed man. "I have not!"

Reno smirked, his green eyes boring into hers. "Yeah ya have, and you know what?" He asked tilting his head slightly to the side. "That's not proper Turk behavior yo."

"S-so?" Sarah stuttered mentally berating herself for showing such an open sign of fear.

"So," Reno drawled lazily, his head beginning to lean towards the frightened blondes neck. "Imma just have to teach you a lesson."

"R-Reno?!" Sarah squeaked out in a loud panicy voice. "W-what are you doing?!"

"Simple yo." Reno said his breath brushing against her jugular, and his voice suddenly dropped several octaves and gained a Transylvanian accent. "I'm going to suck your blood!"

There was silence as Sarah tried to process the words through her fear cluttered mind. Then the light finally dawned, Reno was messing with her. "WHAT?!" She screeched struggling against the hold her now hysterically laughing superior had her in. "You bastard, let me so I can beat the crap out of you!!"

Still laughing, Reno released her and she immediately started pounding angrily on his chest. "You should've seen your face yo! You looked like you were about ta wet yourself!"

Sarah blushed furiously, her angry blue eyes narrowing on the madly laughing red head. "GAH!!" She screamed tackling him to the ground and beating his chest. "Prepare to die you fucking bastard! When I'm through with you they won't even be able to find enough pieces to make a knee cap!!"

"Uh Sarah, are we interrupting something?"

Sarah stopped in her ferocious beating of Reno's rib cage to look up to the training room entrance where an amused Zack and a slightly concerned looking Elise stood staring at her.

"Elise!" Sarah cried jumping to her feet and launching herself at her friend. "Reno was picking on me! Beat him up!"

Elise raised an eyebrow at her friends declaration and then glared at the still cackling Reno. "What did you do to her?" She demanded.

Reno just laughed, gesturing for them to give him a moment. "Y-yo Zack!" He managed to choke out once he gained some semblance of control. "An-Angeal says he's lookin for ya, somethin about a puppy being late for training!"

Zack paled. "SHIT!" He yelled running out of the room. "Angeal's gonna kill me!!"

"A-and Sarah," he choked out snickering a little as he said her name, "y-your twin and Princess are lookin for ya yo. Said Lyn's going on a mission."

Sarah to paled and screamed, "SHIT!" At the top of her lungs before grabbing Elise's arm and dragging her out the double doors.

Thus leaving Reno alone on the training room floor, laughing his blue suited ass off.

Sarah: Well there's chapter one, hope you liked it Elise!

Reneey: I'm not in it.

Lyn: Neither am i.

Sarah: Don't worry, you two will be in chapter two.

Elise: Who on earth are they?

Sarah: My magical assistants from the land of braindead.

Lyn….Imma keel you.


End file.
